THE ADOPTION DEBATE

Can I change my mind . . . ?

By: Barbara Latimer

            In 2010, Torry Ann Hanson put her adopted seven year old son on a plane back to his native Russia with a note explaining that she was unable to parent the child she described as "violent with severe psychopathic issues." She alleged he tried to burn down her home with everyone inside.  The international fallout was swift and extreme leading to a temporary suspension of all Russian adoptions to the United States. The core question can’t be addressed by a moratorium on adoptions. Assuming everything Hanson said was true, does that give her or any adoptive parent the right to return a difficult or sick child because of unfulfilled expectations?  

          In the past two decades, Americans have adopted approximately sixty thousand Russian children. Many of these children are discovered post adoption to have severe physical and developmental issues resulting from fetal alcohol syndrome. They have attachment/bonding issues. They will never be what the adoptive parents imagined, but then again, birth children aren’t always what we imagined them to be either. We work with what we have and do our best to support and love them.

Children once adopted are yours. You cannot return them like shoes that suddenly start to pinch or a purse that now seems too large for everyday wear.  There are no do overs. For Hansen, U.S. court assessed breach of contract damages amounting to $150,000, and monthly child support payments of $1,000 to the Russian orphanage are a debilitating reminder that adoptions are intended to be permanent . . . as should be expected.

Edited by: Maria Brown

Sixty Day Right of "Rescission" on Adoptions

By: Mikki Dixon

 

Under most conditions I agree that adoptions are forever, but there should undoubtedly be a “trial” period.  In some states birth mothers have sixty days to change their mind after giving a child up for adoption.  So, too, should adoptive parents have an opportunity to change their minds if they find the child requires greater care than they are capable of providing.  The reason being is although adoption agencies have a legal, ethical, and moral obligation to disclose any and all health issues of the adoptee, full disclosure is not always what takes place—especially in overseas adoptions.

It is only within the last decade that the pervasive neglect experienced by infants and children in orphanages in the former Soviet bloc has come to light.  Had it not been for the Human Rights Watch (HRW) investigations into conditions in these orphanages, the world may never have known about the rampant neglect, complete lack of touching, and nurturing withheld from these children.

The National Institute of Health's study of human development asserted there is a “sensitive period” during which it is critical for children to receive nurturing and physical touch in order to stave off a lifetime of mental illness and behavioral problems.  That time period is from birth to ten years old.  LiveScience.com contends that in studies of the human brain, children who are deprived of a consistent and loving touch have significantly less grey and white matter in addition to having a 10% smaller hippocampus than children who receive nearly constant direct contact in nurturing homes.

What does this lack of nurturing translate to exactly?  It’s simple.  Children who do not receive nurturing as infants have decidedly lower IQs and severe psychological problems which last a lifetime.  Sometimes this is referred to as the “runt” syndrome or “failure to thrive.”  

It is with this in mind that I advocate a trial period during which the prospective parents have an opportunity to see if the adoptee is a good fit or better suited for another family equipped to handle his or her individual difficulties.  Perhaps this seems callous but my rationale is this: it takes very special people to take care of a special needs child—not everyone can do it.  The trial period would protect both the parents and the child.

Sources:

http://www.hrw.org/sites/default/files/reports/russ98d.pdf

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18096809

http://www.livescience.com/21778-early-neglect-alters-kids-brains.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maia-szalavitz/how-orphanages-kill-babie_b_549608.html

edited by: Maria Brown