Facebook Has Ruined Modern-Day Friendships
By: Maria Brown
I raise my hand. I'm partially guilty. With the advent of numerous social networking websites, I have slacked off in the "personal touch" department. At least for me, there is some truth in what essayist William Deresiewicz says about faux friendships.
It's not that I don't want to call my friends to see how they are doing; it's just that I don't feel like I have the time to do it. So instead of calling, I jump on Facebook, check my friend stream, and when I see that everyone is doing okay, I jump back off. I feel as if I've fulfilled my requirement as a friend because I've technically checked up on each friend. But this is so far from the truth. In actuality, I've now distanced myself further from them...especially my closest friends.
Clearly my best friend (someone I've known since I was 5 years old) deserves more than a quick once over of her Facebook status if I want to clear my conscious. It's been so long since we've engaged in one of our hourly phone conversations to catch up on her life: how her day is going...... how her job is going..... how her kids are doing. She has been there for me through some of my toughest times. I know I would not have considered her 'inboxing' me on Facebook as a suitable replacement for her presence during the birth of my son. I know that if she had merely posted, "How are you doing?" on my Facebook page when I was going through my divorce, it would not have been what I needed or expected from a friend. Clearly there is a lack of balance here and I feel guilty.
When Deresiewicz says, "We haven't just stopped talking to our friends as individuals; we have stopped thinking of them as individuals," he makes a very valid point. All of our friends are unique and deserve their own personalized form of communication. My best friend shouldn't be blanketed into the same group as the random girl that I befriended in 7th grade French class.
We've got to do better. I've got to do better. I invite you to take the, "Friendship Challenge." The next time you go to wish someone, "Happy Birthday" on Facebook, pick up the phone instead. When you sit down to begin your next status update, include time for a heartfelt email to your friend. Let's get back to the basics, starting today. I'm leading the way. I'm posting this on my Facebook page.
Edited by Barbara Latimer
Social Media is the New Social Normative for Day-To-Day Social
Interaction
By: Mikki Dixon
Life is moving faster than it ever has previously in
humankind’s existence. The world is in
the midst of the third industrial revolution, and as such social change is
taking place at an exponential rate.
Social media sites, like Facebook, help people keep in touch with one
another when they might otherwise lose touch permanently.
When I was a child my family moved every two to three years
as a result of having an active duty military father. The result of these moves was always the same—my
sister and I lost all of our friends every few years and had no real way of
keeping in touch. It was unreasonable to
allow children to make expensive long-distance calls, and letter writing is an
art which is developed over many years.
It is not a skill most children are adept at, or even something they
would likely continue for any real length of time.
During my early adult years, pre-social media, it was
natural for friends to go off and experience different things, to drift
apart. After all, it was the way it had
always been done; it was a part of personal growth and self-evolvement. The reason being is because adult lives become
busy with work, and then relationships, marriage, and children begin to take up
much of the time one would have had for friendships.
Fast forward to 2003 when MySpace and Friendster came along,
quickly followed by Facebook in 2004.
Suddenly it was possible to look up friends from high school, middle
school, and even old work colleagues.
Looking up an old boyfriend or an old girlfriend no longer seemed weird;
instead, it was almost expected.
Life is hurried, and in a depressed economy more and more
people are taking jobs further away from the region where they had spent most
of their lives. But, that does not mean they have any less real interest in
keeping in touch with the people who they have held previously close relationships
with—including their family members.
Social networking sites are not making relationships less
personal; rather they are allowing people the opportunity to be closer than
ever before in history. It is the
individual who chooses how little or how much time, effort, or energy he or she
wishes to invest in his or her “friends.”
After all, social media sites do not keep someone from picking up the
phone to call if he or she chooses, or from carving out fifteen minutes to
write a hand-penned note to say, “I was thinking of you and hope all is well.” It all comes down to priorities, and individuals
decide what is and what is not important in their lives.
Edited by Barbara Latimer
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